Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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