How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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