I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I need a beard to bite.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
