this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
