"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
