tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
