i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
