He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
