STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
