are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
