direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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