P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
