Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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