need another drink. this is the easiest way
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
