maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
