We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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