Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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