Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
