Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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