Just cropdusted the office
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
