One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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