My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
