Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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