ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
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