we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
