Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize