You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
