just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
