Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
