just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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