Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
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