I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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