fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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