He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
