there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize