Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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