He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
