you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
