Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Randomize
