if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Randomize
