It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
