Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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