sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
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