marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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