If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize