Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Randomize
