I never want to see another naked old woman again.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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