i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
