Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
