Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
