I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
