i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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