No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I miss vodka workout Fridays
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
