HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
