As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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