I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize