From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
