i would punch a child for taco bell
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
