FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
