Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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