Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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