dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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