anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
